Day 2- What do you call...

What do you call a creature with 8 metal nipples and more than holes in its left inner elbow? My friends call me Dalen.

This morning we woke up at the bright hour of 6:30. I am not quite sure why the woke us up so early. We weren't allowed to eat breakfast. We pretty much just relocated to the special room where they take blood and vital signs and EKG data, and then we all went back to sleep. That dang room is crazy cold too. Around 7:30 they started the tests.

At exactly 8:35, Patient # 208 received experimental medication. It may have been placebo or it may have been super memory drug. I probably will never know.

There still seems to be drama over I don't know what. The nurses whisper in hushed tones here and there.

Everyone is still confused when they do my heart rate, although now it seems the machines have begun to register it.

The guy next to me (Patient # 209) ate breakfast before he was dosed. His schedule said to do that and he was supplied food and told to eat it. Then, he found out he wasn't supposed to eat before being dosed (the rest of us had to wait 2 hours after dosing....breakfast at 10 am when you wake up at 6:30 is really not an enjoyable experience). So, they brought in an alternate and sent him home (meaning they put him outside....his ride is part of the trial, and thus has to stay). We then began continuously joking about being kicked out of the trial for making even the slightest mistake (I would compare these people to Nazi's, but that humor is a little too close to home so to speak).

Lurch was good. Baked Ziti and Chicken. Waiting now for dinner and more blood to be drawn.

Likes: access to pool table, ping pong table, flat screen TVs, heat from from the laptop
Dislikes: peeing in a jug for diagnostic purposes, needle sticks every hour, frigid climate control with no sweatshirt

Day 1- ending

It is definately a mixture of low security prison, mental hospital, and self-admitted rehab (Authors Note: I havent experienced any of these in person, but from what I have seen in the movies, which i believe to be true, it is very similar here). I spent a lare portion of time (i.e. more than 20 minutes) looking out a window today. I spent much of the other time reading, eating, and sleeping. Its life as simple as AmeriCorps, but it pays more, but it is less fulfilling and we arent allowed to exercise.

Apparently, my EKG stickers were not in the correct places, so they had to tear some of them from my chest (they are crazy sticky!) and I believe they took with them some skin, some chest hair, and maybe even a little bit of my soul. It hurt. Then they reapplied them, hopefully correctly now.

I havent taken any medication yet. We get dosed tomorrow apparently. They have been feeding us pretty well, but in single sittings. Tomorrow, our meals will be exactly spaced. We dont get to snack or eat meals between meals, so i take longer and make sure to eat all the food given to me. Without exercise though, it just makes me lethargic. We'll see how much longer I have an appettite without exercise. Maybe I will do some pushups when nobody is looking.

There seems to be quite the social drama group working here. Since I have a tendancy to sit in the corner and read, I am able to be a fly on the wall and listen as the women gossip and talk about who isnt doing what because they have no clue how to do their job, and if they are not carefull the good Dr. will let them go. Apparently, the boss around here is quite the stickler for doiug things by procedure. this makes sense to me though, since we are getting huge checks given to each of us to test a drug with tons of market opportunity. I can imagine that whoever hired this facility out to run this test has quite the bankroll.

Lights out at 11 pm....which means we actually are forced to go to sleep. A guy sitting next to me remarked how camp-like this place is. Dosing for me is at 8:35 am, so off to lay in bed.

Patient WDR #208

CommentResponses

Response to comments:

Eric:
I agree wholeheartedly with your logic. The environment is always going to be a "rich people's" problem...that is until the poor people realize that they are the ones who will suffer the most from envrionmental degradation.Even then though, the rich are the only ones with the resources to undo the damage. I think its a sort of catch-22problem.

Steve:
GOLF courses Steve, not GOLD courses. You know, that makes me wonder...if the golf balls were made of gold, would peoplestill leave them in the streams?
Also, Rupert Murdock wants to buy my blog and soul...i can only assume its because of the Bartunek Bump.

Molly:
Stream cleanup along the trailer park would be small beans. The water flow is so low there. It would be much better to do it further down, where garbage collects. And the scale of a cleanup would be gargantuan...i am trying to get an NCCC team to work on something like this.

Day 1- Locked up for 3 days

They made it clear that once we entered the facility, there was no going back. Anything we left in our lockers would be out of our reaches for 3 days. I kind of feel like a scientist going into the biosphere.

In case I haven't told you, I found a medical study to participate in. The money is really good and the study is for an Alzheimer's medication. The ad was on the back of a Creative Loafing, right near the add for "Smoke Pot, Get Paid." I am hoping that since the medicine is for Alzheimer's, and my memory is fine, i will end up with a super-memory.

I came in this morning at 9 am, having fasted since 10 pm (yes, i had to skip what would normally be 2nd dinner). Then, we had to get all our tests done, so it wasn't until 11am that i was able to eat breakfast. Exactly two eggs, two pieces of bacon, strawberries with whip cream, and a glass of OJ later, I felt better. As I write this, I smile at the EKG sticky patches that spot my wrists, ankles, and chest. I feel like I could be hooked to the Matrix. We are supposed to leave them on the entire time we are here. I also have an ID bracelet (in case i escape and get picked up) and a bracelet with a combination on it, to my locker, in case they find my body and want to get into the combination lock that was issued to me.

The EKG thought my heart rate was sub-50 BPM, which is crazy low. The nurse asked me if I was a triathlete, but i heard her ask if I was a superhero. So, I said, "not yet."

Lunch has arrived from the outside world. I sort of feel like I am in prison, but a really nice prison. We all are wearing the same maroon scrubs and we are sleeping in a large room. Its like adult penitentiary camp....but we get paid!

More later. Tell all your friends.

Living Rocks, trailor parks, and damn golf balls

Thanks to Eric and Reagan for the comments.
I once knew a guy named Steve Barta..Barte...Bar-tune-ack. He was a heck of a guy that Steve. Top 3 of all the Steve's I know, easy.

So, last week, I was walking in Rocky River. I went to a place where I know there is a dam and proceeded to look at the dirt upstream and downstream of the dam. Eventually, I will compare the streams and locations where dams existed to the streams and locations where dams didn't exist.

One thing I have noticed in both kinds of streams is that wherever there is a large power line crossing the stream, all the trees have been removed. Since much of the streams are under forest canopy, it is like coming out of a shaded tunnel and then going back into one. Often, near power lines, a bunch of rocks have been put on the banks to keep erosion from happening. then, those rocks fall into the creek and then moss and slime grow on them, making it very treacherous to walk under the power lines where the sun reaches the stream.

I was coming up to one of these open expanses a couple week back when I noticed a rock sticking up out of the creek. It wasn't so bizarre (i do see occasional rocks), but it was odd since it was all alone and in the middle. Generally, there will be some geologic formation and a bunch of rocks will be present. This time there was just one. It seemed very smooth also. My vision is getting bad, so I dismissed the fact that it also appears to be suspended just above the water by two sticks. As I got closer I looked harder and still saw a smooth, gray rock, suspended above the water by about 2 inches by two sticks. Finally, I got within 10 yards and realized I was staring at a giant crane, sitting in the middle of the stream, with no head. I could make out the feathers on its back and the two sticks were actually legs. Still, no head though. It was ultra creepy. I gave it plenty of space in case "the crane from sleepy hollow" decided to move towards me. then, its head appeared, unburied from its body, where it had been resting while the crane was sleeping. It looked over at me, with very menacing eyes and a long, spear-like nose. I find it peculiar that many birds (Owls, Hawks, Cranes) look really cool from far off, but then when you get close you realize that they are very efficient killing machines and they no doubt would enjoy eating my eyes. I gave the crane more space and walked past it. It eyes me and then went back to sleep.

So, I assumed it was sick. I walked downstream awhile, came to a bend in the stream that was more than 6' deep, and turned around. As I re-approached the grim reaper-esque bird, it awoke, put its mouth in the water, ate a fish, and then went back to sleep, clearly not afraid of me. It was bizarre and I have no doubt that I will never get this close to a bird of such size again.


I grew up near a trailer park and had many friends that lived there. So, I don't like to think that people in trailers are any more abnormal than the next people. There are lots of stereotypes and general negative feelings about trailer park peoples. Unfortunately, I think I now have a small bit more loathing for them, having walked the section of Toby Creek adjacent to a trailer park. there was much garbage. there were many bicycles. there were many kids toys made of plastic. There were occasional TVs, washer machines, and parts of building...all in the stream. If I could have my way, I would make it law that trailer parks have to be at least a quarter mile away from streams.

....and gold courses too dammit. I have found golf balls the entire length of mallard creek. They come from the golf course i live on and I am wondering if they cant be held liable for the pollution. I hate to see golf balls in the creek. Its just one more blatant sign that we as a large group of people don't care about the natural world around us. We would rather do some hobby that leads to pollution than to find another hobby or even another way to do said hobby without causing pollution.

Our streams will never be clean again until we decide we value them more than the parking lots (and their run-off) that destroy them.

More tales from the streams

Save the forest?

Last week I was walking in Mallard Creek, which seems to go forever. At one particular place, I came to a part of the creek that has canyon like walls of 30' or more in height. For the most part, the banks of Mallard Creek are usually less than 15', so this was yet another twilight zone like moment (its peculiar how lots of instances become infinitely more creepy when youre alone in a creek bed or walking under a major road or interstate via long dark tunnel...I am very surprised, and happy, to not have found any bodies yet). The waterflow became a trickle as it came down over large rocks (i always walk UPstream), so I began to rock hop up the stream with my shovel and ultra-dexterity-suppressing waders. I saw a couple kids on the bank hanging out, but I didnt stop to talk or really take notice. I figured that I looked quite odd and didnt want to explain what I was doing anyway (although, I have a simplified thesis explanation of "walking in streams and looking at dirt in cutbanks" that only requires me to define one term). Eventually, I noticed, the kids seemed to be following me upstream. I couldnt tell if they were just walking upstream or trying to catch me. Anyway, with waders, I neednt worry about being in the water or out, so I was able to move faster than them. Eventually though, they got within earshot when I was looking at an exposure and they asked me what I was up to. More specifically, they asked me if I was with the forest service and if I was trying to "save the forest." they asked if I had a petition. They then were disappointed to find out I was just a grad student...especially since, as they told me, they would totally sign a petition if I had one. I guess the shovel/waders/clipboard really does give me instant credibility amongst hippie kids playing in streams. Wait a second...that used to be me. Crap. I have grown into a hippie kid, studying to work in streams. I told them to make sure they washed their feet when they got home (they were barefoot) because the water no doubt contained all kinds of bad stuff. They didnt like this last piece of adult-ish advice as they left me and they didnt respond.

Stay tuned for my next story about a rock that comes to life!

DAlen

Day 7

Picture me walking down a fairly busy, 4 lane boulavard on a sunday afternoon carrying a backpack with a pair of waders (picture a backpack with a pair of rubber legged boots) and holding a shovel in one hand. That is how the story ends.

In case youre wondering why I would walk 2+ miles in a creek, I will fill you in. Its graduate research. I am looking at sediment deposits in floodplains in the banks of the city streams to find clues or remnants of previous dam existance. In other words, I walk in the creeks and look at the dirt.

So, after being told not to come into work, and after bailing on the special father's day church service, I decided to seize the opportunity to finish walking a stretch of creek that actually flows through my school. I was excited to finally see what is looks like for a creek to "begin." Maybe that really does make me an earth sciences weirdo...the excitement of seeing what we in the industry call "headwaters." (In turns out the creek basically starts under some grassy field in a trailer park....very much a let down).

I parked my car at the Target and walked to the tunnel where I knew the creek came from under the large road. The other day, I had stopped walking at this tunnel, on the other side. It has to be 1/5 mile long and ultra-creepy due to the darkness. I was on the other side now though, and walking away.

I walked a little over a mile and thought I was doing well. I had seen some interesting bank exposures. Unfortunately, I also had come to some major log jams. finally, I reached one that I was not willing to try and climb through. All the debris makes for great snake and critter homes, not to mention winged stinging creature habitats. So, I pawed my way up one of the steep banks to see a well manicured, clearing in a wooded area. It was quite peculiar. There were no houses or roads nearby...just this obviously cut grassy clearing. then I saw a ladder up a tree and realized I was in an area meant for shooting deer. I quickly moved back to the creek and down into it on the other side of the log jam.

Walking in a steep banked creek (with banks 10+ ft tall) is like having blinders on. all you can see is where you came from and where you are going. Everything happening above the bank you cant see. Where you are really is all a mystery.

Eventually, i got to a point where there was lots of rust in the water. Then I came to a place where I saw the rust flowing in the water. then I walked further up the creek and found the water was clean appearing. I found places where there were lots of fish and no debris and no garbage. It made me happy. Then I came to a place that bordered a trailor park. Then I found bicycles, baby toys, random large appliances, and pieces of buildings in the creek. It saddened me. Then I found dogs on the not so tall banks anymore and they barked at me. People in trailor homes shouldnt be allowed to live near streams.

then I came to a large split, and the stream banks went from being 6 ft wide to being shoulder width. So, I got out and found a barbed wire fence to go through into the trailor park.

the sign on the fence (as I looked from the woods towards the trailers) said no trespassing. I wondered who it was meant to keep out. Maybe it was meant to keep the literate deer from leaving the nice forest and going into trailer park to cause problems.

Walking out of the trailer park, I found myself lost...a little. Then I found myself, somehow about 5 miles from my car. I walked about 2.5 miles in the stream and ended up 5 miles from my car. That, my friends, is magic.

Its been too long...

My apologies. It has been a long time since I last wrote. This can be blamed on...

1) the two weeks of non-stop racing action at Lowes Motor Speedway- I got a job at their resteraunt, so I worked really long days for the last weeks of May. On the brightside, I made tons more money than I originally expected (picture me wearing a tie made out of hundred dollar bills)

2) the one week on the AT- well, it was actually more like a few days. I was trying to connect with a friend who is hiking...she has been going since March and plans to hike the whole thing, ending up in Maine in September. We say a giant timber rattlesnake right on the trail. I have never seen one so, I was especially excited (I wanted to catch it, but the logical female in our party kept us safe...BORRRING). The 2nd day, I almost stepped on another rattler while picking "toilet paper." We also survived a huge thunderstorm, which was pretty cool.

3) the interspersed days of doing graduate research- I am walking in streams. Its hot work and gets a little miserable when my waders leak...which is almost always. There are lots of snakes and critters around too. I am also not completely sure that what I am doing is correct, but I am going to keep doing it (as my advisor suggested) until she gets back in July.

4) filling in any remaining time with Muah Thai and Jiu-Jitsu- I might try and compete in the NAGA Charlotte event next month. My class would be beginner and weight class will ideally be 139.9 lbs. We'll see.

Otherwise...nothing new. Living on the trucker friend's living room floor. He has a pseudo-girlfriend now....which is crazy weird. I didnt think he liked girls...not that he is gay, he seems to dislike everyone equally.

Are we a product of our...

Are we products of our habits?

Do we live our lives habitually? Is there some point- when we get the job that we want, the mate that we want, the house that we want- where we stop thinking about what is going on and we just "do" without having to think? Can we turn into automated humans even before we get to the place that is our goal?

How often do you think about what you're doing and why you're doing it? For example, I go to the bathroom regularly, just as anyone else might. Just like anyone else, once I step through the doorway I turn on the lights. Why? Is it because I need light? No. During the day the window gives more than enough light to read by, or do anything else that i might be doing. Actually, at night I intentionally don't turn on the light because it hurts my eyes, so in actuality I never NEED the light. The amount of extra light I would have in the daytime is negligible. So, why do I turn the light on? Because I have been doing it for over 20 years. So, what if I don't turn the light on? Will that change things? No. Its not about turning the light on or off every time. Its about thinking about what is going on around me, deciding if I need the light, and then making conscious, in the moment decisions about my actions. What would happen if this became the norm instead of habitual action? I would become less of a machine, less of a creature acting on impulses programmed into head by years of repetition.

Are we products of our emotions?

Two days ago I was a victim of theft. My bikes were stolen. Given the option, I would have inflicted bodily harm on the people who did this. I have thought a great deal about this. Something inside me, deep down inside, makes me want to hurt them. I feel anger and revulsion towards these two people I don't even know, and I want to harm them. Some describe this as "seeing red." As I experience this feeling, I wonder to myself what then is the difference between me and a predator given the option to kill prey. They too do not think about peripheral circumstances and have only one purpose, one feeling. They want to hurt something else.

Although I am not terribly upset at the loss of my bikes, the premise still angers me. And yet, as a Christian, I wonder how to conquer or rise above my base feeling. I wonder if I do indeed ever come across my bikes, with someone else on them, what will I do? Will I be overcome by anger and lash out? Or can I not be a product of this dangerous emotion?

I am thinking a lot about the bikes, and since I have the power to think about people in order to come across them, I think i might see my bikes again. So, time will tell the answers to my questions....

Being 28

My original intention was to write about the day I turned 28. So, here goes....

Woke up at 11:00. Went to church at 11:30
After that, went to Aldi's. Ran into an old friend who is now married and has a 6 month old kid.
Around 2ish, I went to tutor the 6th grader I work with. She is having trouble with fractions, which apparently is the only thing they study in 6th grade math. Fractions come in approximately 327 different forms.
Once I was done tutoring, I came home (i.e. Justin's living room), got my creek stuff, and went out to Harrisburg to look for some mill dams. I trespassed on some property to get to the river, talked to the owner (he was wary of me on his land), and then proceeded to not find a dam(n) thing. From there, I drove to where i thought another dam used to be, and could find nothing there either.
Went home. Played online poker. Went to bed.

Not very interested, if you ask me.

Do y'all remember what your 28th bday was like? do you have big anticipation about what it will be like?

For me, I could never have anticipated I would be here: back in grad school, living in a friend's living room, single, and spending large amounts of my time chasing the dream of someday fighting in a cage at 135 lbs. I really thought that at this point I would at least be married. Thank goodness I am not though. I wouldn't have the time.

I have noticed that this phase of age seems to be "friends getting divorced." I liked much better the "friends getting married" and the "friends having kids" phases.

It seems the rich engineer plan has fallen through also. Now, I am on the plan to finish my graduate degree and get an Earth Sciences job. If only Bridget had never convinced me to study some geology in grad school and Nicole had never convinced me to move to Atlanta.

The sunday church message about re-centering oneself in an effort to become "the one" (i.e. that person that someone else thinks they are meant to be with) made a lot of sense. We, and particularly I, have spent lots of time trying to find "the one," that person that fantasy and romance media tells us we are meant to be with. Doing this means you lose focus on defining yourself...I lost focus on defining myself as a Christian who is called to serve and love not just one woman, but everyone. Thus is my birthday present to myself...and it is hopefully a birthday present I will remember and use for many years to come.




Otherwise, I will be going to the beach to see a friend who is graduating...and giving myself the other birthday presents of margaritas.

Christian?

I have been doing probably too much reading about Christianity. One of the things I am reading is sort of a response to the Emergent Church movement written by two guys who are more on the Orthodox side of things. I was given the book by two close friends of mine...father figures in my child-to-christian-man journey. They wanted me to read it, because they are on the side of the argument that says the emergent church is missing some key points and their theology is flawed. So, I am reading the book.

Whether or not I agree is going to have to be at least 5 postings, so I may just save it for some other venue. the important thing is though, just by reading the points and counterpoints, I have become more aware of some key things.

Both sides agree that "works," or the "doing" of Christian things (behaving in line with what Christ would have wanted) is important. The orthodox people believe (i think) that it is the manifestation of God's love through us, and is something of a byproduct of being Christian. The emergents, frustrated by so-called "Christian" who lack the outward intentions to help their neighbors, have decided that this behavior is of a higher priority, and should be one of the major foundational points of a growing/ developing relationship with God. These points being said, when I look in the mirror or when I look at my church friends, I wonder what has been done in the name of my faith today that Jesus would have wanted?

Rob Bell says that it is not enough to be a Christian who doesn't step on the toes of those who aren't. Christians throughout time have caused so much suffering we cant resort to pacifism to make up for it (of course really, nothing we do can make up for it). We must be offensive in our plans to make our actions synonymous with Christ, and hence synonymous with Love.

Think this all sounds too hard to do anything with? Its not. Find some small thing you can consciously do everyday that serves your neighbors and shows your love for everything. I have resorted to random acts of helping people with car trouble. Last week I helped push a car out of an intersection. I have also started to be more mindful of the small creatures around me. today I stopped on an off-ramp to make sure a snake got out of the road. I also later saved a spider off of a friend.

These things are small...and may seem insignificant. But they aren't. They are training for bigger things. Each thunderstorm starts with a single drop.

Wanna help? Ask your neighborhood Christian what they have done today that would make Jesus happy?

Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde

I have found that I have my own Jekyll and Hyde type issue.

If you were to come across me today, you would see a man with short hair, no facial hair, and mostly normal clothes. When I worked at Carrier, I became a khaki and polo type guy. Now that I am a student, I am slightly more casual, but still your typical t-shirt and short guy. I would introduce myself as Will, we might say a few cordial words, but you'd probably forget me. And yet, this is what society seems to want. I am supposed to just blend in. You might not forget me if I had visible tatoos or facial piercings, but you also would not want me tutoring your kids or serving your food (both things I do).

Unfortunately, there is something in me that lurks just below the surface. He is DAlen. Nobody forgets DAlen. Although he knows lots of people, MORE people know him...more people know OF him. Its probably the mohawk. Plus, of course, once you ask him to repeat his name 5 times and then you understand what he is saying, you just dont forget the name. You especially dont forget him if he is interviewing for a job...even with the mohawk down in "business" mode.

So, who would you hire first? The guy you forget? or the guy who you remember, but only because he doesnt fit?

I have been really wanting to go back to DAlen for awhile. I of course cant re-cut my hair because I am a server, but I can go back to the name. Will has been nice and easy, but maybe DAlen will hold some new interests for me. Maybe i'll get that internship afterall and I can ease into the mohawk. Those people seem passive enough that nobody would say anything. I would have to make my value known first, but then I think it would work. Of course, they would need to return a phone call first.

As for the ending of this random rambling...I got nothing.

Zen and the art of walking in steams

For the first time today, I went out to walk in a stream. If this sounds like a bizarre intro, then let me fill in some of the blanks. I am doing some graduate work on whether or not 19 century mill dams had an impact on stream formations and possibly if this happened here in charlotte. Most of the work will require me to look at stream cut exposures. The best way to look at stream cuts is from inside the stream bed....and therefore the best way to find exposures and look at them is to walk in the stream.

The first thing I noticed was that walking in moving stream water is a little different from walking on land. If you lean as far forward as you do when you normally walk, you wont be able to move your feet under you and you will end up face planting in the stream. Walking in a stream is a very deliberate task...each step has to be planned and completed before moving to the next one.

The second thing I noticed was that my left wader/boot was leaking.

I came upon a guy taking pictures. I was squeezing around a downed tree, and he wanted to take a picture of the tree, so I think I was in his shot. Eventually, I worked my way up the stream to where he was, and we began to talk. Although he didnt say so, he thought it was peculiar to see a person walking, literally in a stream. I had waders on though, so he could see I wasnt doing it accidently (his facial expressions and eyes gave away his thought processes). Naturally, he asked me what I was doing. "I am just looking at the stream for some graduate work." "Well, how is the stream doing?" At this point, I didnt know how to answer him because I am not answering a "doing good" or "doing bad" type of question. So, I proceeded to try and tell him the premise of my graduate thesis without using too many earth sciences terms ("flood plain," "sediment," and "wetlands" were inescapable). I am not sure how much he understood but he was cordial. Then he told me about a herd of deer he had seen and some beavers he saw on the stream the previous year. Its funny how a man with a camera looking for animals and a guy with waders walking in a stream looking at dirt can talk like they have known each other for a long time. We said goodbyes and gave our parting greetings, and onward I slogged.

Slogged is definately the right term here.

I saw a snake. It was a tiny snake. Tiny is the species.

The world looks different from the deep channel of a shallow stream. All you see is sky and trees. All you here is the water moveing past your each step. Everything is peacefull in shallow appearance. There will be plenty more where this peace comes from.

I was saddened to see how much garbage there was in the stream. I felt like the indian guy from that commercial, with the single tear....except I am more indian than him (he was hispanic) and I didnt actually cry (of course, he probably didnt either).

So...yeah...left sock got very wet.

DAlen/ Will

Soon I will be a Master...

Finished the rough draft of my thesis proposal today. Its all down hill from here. Soon, I will be a master! All I got to do now is walk in some streams (6-8 weeks), compile everything into a report, and make a conclusion. Then, presto...Masters Degree!


on an unrelated note....

Yesterday I went to work at Habitat for Humanity. Everytime I wake up to go volunteer I regret it. Its so early and usually cold. There is this 15 minutes span of time where I really wonder why I am up so early on a saturday and wonder if anyone would even notice if I went back to sleep. Interestingly enough, I usually spend the next 5.5 hours glad that I made the decision to go. The ideas and methods of Habitat are so good, and you can really see the work youre doing. the homeowners are usually around also, and they are oh so gratefull. At the end of the day, you can look at your hands and see the ware and tear. It makes me feel like a man.

Yesterday, as I sat on top of a wall on the 2nd floor of a home, with a 25 foot fall if I leaned backwards and a 9 foot fall if I leaned forward, I felt at home. Big nails and a big hammer in hand. We started with a floor and ended with walls, rooms, and setup for trusses.

Its times like these when I most feel the tug of God's will on me to serve others.

TO DC... (spring break)

probably to do a lot of walking around and sleeping...especially if its this nice all week.

I'll write all about it when I get back.

DAlen

If you got rid of one thing everyday...

If you challenged yourself to get rid of one thing in your life everyday, how long would you be able to keep it up?

And really, it can be anything. Technically, it could even be food. In that respect we could all go forever. What about a possession though? How many possession do we have that we don't need, nor do we ever know that we even have it?

One of the things I enjoy about moving is that it really forces me to take an inventory of everything. Well, maybe it doesn't force me. I do it though because I want to know that everything I physically move with my own two hands is worth it. So, I usually try to get rid of things in the process of packing and inventorying.

Today I finally decided to jettison a bottle of sea shells I had. When I was in college, my Mormon roommate one decided to give me an almost empty bottle of Calvin Klein cologne. I guess it was kind of a weird gift, but the opportunist in me was grateful. I used up all the cologne eventually and then filled the pretty clear bottle with very small seashells. I always though it was so pretty...and thus I held on to it for 6+ years. Today, I tossed it. Well, actually I poured the seashells into my plant (it likes new material) and then I recycled the glass bottle and plastic top. Not before taking 30+ pictures of it though.

I find it makes it easier to let go of stuff if you take tons of pictures of it. Slowly, I am converting all the things I physically own but don't need or use and turning it all into digital pictures...all the while transferring the associated memories, of course.

I cant believe its snowing.

Mail, Secret Millionaire, and Octomoms...better versions

Twice in the past week now, I have come into possession of mail that is not my own. Its easy enough to put the mail back in the slot (which sends it back to the post office or back to the sender). Its also really easy to just throw it away. But, once you think about it, especially living in an apartment complex, how hard is it to just personally deliver to the correct apartment? Answer: Its not hard at all. This, though is the ultimate microcosm for our society. How hard is it really to recycle? How hard is it to carpool? How hard is it to spend 2 hours a week serving food to the hungry, building homes for the homeless, or just stopping to assist someone with car trouble. Answer: Its not hard at all. So then, why are there so many people not lifting a single finger to help the so many fewer that have so much need?

Sometimes it just takes a little inspiration. Are you lacking? Then, I would suggest watching a little bit of Secret Millionaire. I think it only ran for about 8 episodes on FOX, but I really think they hit the nail on the head. Furthermore, they really show that somehow our country is screwed up in that the only people helping the poor, are the people slightly less poor. The people who basically have nothing are giving more of their time and abilities than the people who have it all.

http://www.hulu.com/videos/search?query=Secret+Millionaire
(Warning: This show could cause crying...a weird sort of happy/sad/ breakthrough in therapy crying)

You should watch these. Don't watch them more than 1 episode a week. If you were ever in Americorps, you can understand a lot of this already (so you gotta get your friends to watch it with you!). I just got finished watching episode number 5. The one lady reminds me a lot of Octomom...well, actually the lady who owns the salon reminds me of her too. The difference is the focus on self. Octomom wanted a big family for her own benefit. She didn't care about the impact it might have on the kids...especially with many of them being handicapped. She WANTED something, so she made it happen despite how much it would hurt others. She was SELFISH. The women in the show on the other hand, acted SELFLESSLY. She even said that if she could she would have 50 kids. But, instead of making more, she took in more of the unwanted and impoverished kids. She is helping to fix problems instead of creating more....because she is doing for the benefit of the kids. Her benefit is second to the greater good.

Let me come down off of my soapbox for a moment...

On a more comedic note, I love the look of terror on the people's faces before they tell them that they are really crazy rich. There is always such calm on the poor people's face though...almost as if they have spent their life hearing bad news, so they know that whatever this stranger is about to tell them wont compare to what they have already heard.

...a few steps to get back up here and...

DAMMIT! These people are MILLIONAIRES!!!! What is a hundred grand to them? The cheerleader in episode 5 gave away the most money out of any so far that I have seen. If I were a millionaire, I think I would give all the people I met a 100 grand! Actually, I think I will never get to be a millionaire because once I reach $999,999 I will likely just start giving away everything above and beyond that! (I bet each of the cars that they people drive are worth over $100,000!) I cant believe FOX had to put the minimum stipulation on the money giving. Some of these people could probably lift an entire community out of poverty, or at least create programs and centers that would!

Lastly, there is this one funny moment right at the end of episode 5....profound words that are completely the opposite of actions.

"if we all just give a little, we could do a lot." [pan to amazingly giant big-ass house]

Please share this food for thought with everyone you know so that they will all quit their real jobs that they dont like and join AmeriCorps/ PeaceCorps.

DAlen

"My little girl is going to..."

If you read my last post, you should watch this.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zhF-ZUyLI50

If you didnt read my last post, watch this, and then read it.

The last little line the mother says has me laughing repeatedly.





If youre in a more somber mood...watch this one. I acutally agree with it very much and it goes with my last posting.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_cb4dMOdI3Y&NR=1

What if we ran foster homes the same as animal shelters?

One of the big news stories right now is the lady who gave birth to 8 kids. That would be a remarkably more amazing feat had it been natural, but in actuality, she had 6 embryos implanted in her uterus (two if which split to make twins). So, she actually chose to have the 8 kids, had them created in test tubes, and then she just carried them around for 9 months before they had to be surgically removed. Pretty much everything about this was unnatural. She now has a total of 14 kids, without a husband or any other type supporting parents, and she also has no job. Her plans are to go back to school. She better get some crazy high paying degree (can you major in CEO-ness?).

The price tag for the whole thing was quite exorbitant also. Who knows how she is going to pay for that part of it. I am guessing an insurance company will pay for it (so, all our rates will go up because of her) or the hospital will pay for it (so, our insurance will charge more for us to use that hospital) or maybe somehow taxes will go to pay for it (a bailout, to use a popular term). Either way, we, as a society, are paying for this. The biggest victims though are probably foster kids.

As I write this (and as you read this), there are kids who are living essentially in dorms with no parents. What hope do they have of being adopted when it seems that the first solution to infertility and wanting a "family" is for people to pay crazy $$ to get science to make them a kid?

Its the same hope that dogs and cats in shelters have against the desire for dogs that breeders churn out. They have to compete with a more specific example of what people want. When they lose and don't get adopted, we kill them. What if we let them reach a certain age and then released them? Why cant animals "age out" of shelter care?

Or maybe, we should start killing children in foster care. The chances of a kid who "ages out" becoming a burden to society are great, just like a stray dog or cat will no doubt cause trouble. Currently the options are "MY genetic children in a test tube or someone else's genetic kids (not my problem)." What if the options changed to "MY genetic children or save a life?" What if every time you wanted to create a child unnaturally existing kid had to be uncreated, also unnaturally? What if we hold a lottery for people who want to have kids, and if you win, you have to adopt an existing one first before you can make your own?

extended metaphor gone wrong?

It seemed so good in my head...then it started to flow out of my ears and onto my blog...

Sometimes, in life, your odometer breaks. The odometer of course is that key piece of instrumentation that tells us not where we are going or where we are. Actually, it doesn't even really tell us where we have been. It pretty much just tells us how long we have been going. It doesn't count when we are standing still, but only when we are charging ahead. The unfortunate side effect of charging ahead so much though is that eventually it can not record the charging anymore. It literally breaks. Then what do you do? Well, you can leave it, thus having no evidence of any forward movement. The upside of course is that many people correlate age with forward movement, so therefore you technically don't age either. Many people seem to not want to age. But with age comes wisdom. That's actually the only way you can come of it. It definitely impossible to listen to an old person's wisdom and effectively take it and use it. No matter what, we make our own mistakes. In the process we get older. The odometer ticks on. So, you fix the odometer, and you don't lie about your age. You don't turn the odometer back. You unbolt the vinyl panel below your steering wheel. Then you unbolt the steel panel beneath the vinyl one. Then you unbolt the bevel and pull the entire instrument panel out. At this point, you shouldn't drive through school zones, because it is impossible to tell your speed looking at the wiring for your gas gage and the duct for your AC vent. Then, you go to pull-a-part, pay your one dollar entry fee, and search for a car that was completely destroyed in what may have been a head-on collision with train. Luckily, everything was destroyed except the instrument panel. Then you pay $20 for a $300 set of gages. All going well, you take that panel apart down to the very last plastic gear...they call it a "worm" gear. Its common for plastic gears to fail in 1997 Explorer odometers. Luckily, this was hasn't. Then, you put it in, replace the gage, add a few screws to your panel in your car, and Voila! fixed odometer! Then, you drive around for a few days just to make sure. Life is once again recording your forward movement. After another couple hours of bolting panels back on, your car looks normal...newer even because you wiped all the dust out from behind the clear plastic. So, you pat yourself on the back for being some kind of mechanical genius and for saving yourself 200 dollars. A few days go by...just enough time for you to recount your adventures to roughly 5 people. Approximately 17.3 miles after that, your odometer will stop working. This leaves two choices: go back to living a life of no record that you were ever moving forward or figure out a way to crush and melt your entire car (to assuage your anger) at home using nothing more than a microwave, some jumper cables, and a Total Gym Ultra (minus Chuck Norris).