Regret?

Tonight was the first time I had a seed of a hint of doubt about my tattoo.

Tattoo some of you may be thinking? I am pretty sure most of you know, but in case you dont, I got a tatto 2 years ago, for Christmas. It says, it mirrored text, "be great" across the left side of my chest. Every morning I see it. It reaffirmes and reminds me that the one absolute I have in my life is my desire to die a "great" man.

It has its drawbacks. Greatness is probably most closely linked to struggle. The more struggle involved, often the more reward possible. While it is possible to live a blessed life with everything going your way, dont plan on it happening to you (unless your life is reality TV show produced by Disney).

So, what caused me to have regret? Well, tonight I started my REAL training at a Muay Thai gym in Statesville. This is the kind of place that is going to push me, teach me as much as I want to learn, and develop me into what I want as an MMA competitor. Everyone was training without a shirt on. I knew if I took mine off, I would be forced to make myself continue more when I wanted to stop. Even worse (or better?), somebody else might see it and push me more than I wanted to be pushed. Essentially, I feared that it would hold me more accountable than I thought I could be. Then I sort of realized how this type of thinking on my part was really what I had planned all along. So, I kept running. I kept crunching. I kept doing all the sadistic isometrics our probably-ex-army-ranger-turned-real-thai-fighter/crazy-exercise-instructor told us to do. And then it was over. And tommorrow I may not be able to lift my arms. And I think I want to spar more even though I got matted with a leg sweep that knocked the wind out of me (dont worry mom...i grow back, and the mats are soft, and wind eventually fills my lungs again once i find it, and he bought me a sport drink cause he felt bad).

Tommorrow holds VISTA training in the mountains. Tons of fun.

love y'all...happy voting day.