"I could have stayed home today"

"I could have stayed home TODAY"

So, I was somewhere, waiting for something...maybe it was an office or something. As I sit there, thinking about all the random stuff that crosses my brain daily (is there a way to harness the power of the criminal mind?), a lady walked past me. She looked over to a co-worker and said the quoted lines. The inflection in her voice was one of dread, as if she was having a not-so-day and she was staying that man, if she had only stayed home none of the issues she was apparently suffering from would have happened.

I thought to myself how easily it is that we can live in our own time and space and be completely oblivious. Now, I dont know what her specific issues were that day, but I am guessing they are not at all comparable to the problems many people are having today...problems that are a result of not going "in." Many people, me included, have lost jobs. We dont have a workplace to dread going to. Instead, we dread the money we have to borrow to eat or we dread the day after today, when we will likely continue to be unemployed. Nothing like being unemployed to really make you appreciate that job that you used to not care too much for.

I am not talking about people that are miserable at work. she clearly was not miserable. If you hate your job and would genuinely be happier without it, feel free to give it up. She was just sort of unappreciative that someone actually wanted her to work there... make not mistake about it. If you have a job, its because someone wanted you to work. I wish someone wanted me to work, then maybe my phone would ring. I mean really, i would even like it if my phone rang so they could tell me in person that they didnt want me, but maybe next time, and then i could get a chance to actually talk to someone. I feel like I am submitting a resume to a brick wall behind a curtain.

Innaugerations and Bowling

for some reason, the posts are not ordered by their post date, but rather the date you started them. so, make sure to go back and check out the post titled "whats hanging from your rear view mirror?"

So, last night, Nicole called me...at 3 am! We talked for over an hour. It was kind of surreal, but it was a good conversation. She is still sort of spinning her wheels. She cried on the phone. Nothing is worse than having a girl you love cry on the phone, somewhere too far away for you to get to. You cant do anything about it. In my case, even if I was there, I wouldn't be able to do anything about it. My hands are tied...as they were in our relationship. I cant drive her car for her. Wish I could.

Maybe its the jaded intellectual in me, but it is starting to annoy more and more as people keep referring to Obama as "making history." By shear definition, EVERYTHING that happens in the present becomes history immediately after. I understand that it is a big deal to have a non-white president. Yes, civil rights have come so very far. It just seems to me the more people harp on his race, the more important his race becomes. You know damn well that the first time he makes some kind of decision that is potentially harmful to black people, there is going to be some kind of outcry, saying that he is betraying "his people." Everyone in America is "his people" dammit, whether or not we share the same skin color. Voicing any opinion that does anything but group the people in this country as a whole, as Americans, is counter productive for racial equality. For example: listing some kind of foreign continent in front of the word "American" to describe someones race. Nobody calls me European American. They call me white, but in actuality, they shouldn't be calling me anything. Creating the divisions in order to further equality of them prevents it from ever truly happening.

On a less rant-itive note...
I found the perfect partner to bowl with. Those of you who know me, know that I can be at times a little impatient. So, waiting for people to bowl when it is their turn, really just gets under my skin. I found someone who is always ready, bowls quickly, and then waits briefly while I bowl, and then is ready to go again. When I went bowling last week, we bowled 5 games over the course of 45 minutes. Yes, that's right 5 games. turns out this magical partner is none other than myself. I bowled 5 games in 45 minutes. Oh, and another thing....I bowled a 210! I made a strike or spare on every frame except one. I hit 5 or 6 strikes...cant remember. It was simply amazing...and wonderful. I loved it. then, I went and played Rampage World Tour for about 10 minutes also. I love that game.

Man, I have come a long way

Yesterday was Sunday. Many people in this country spend Sunday morning at church. Ask them "why?" more than twice, and they probably wont have an answer. Its just something they have done since they can remember and will continue to do...lemmings. What things are there in your life that you do, without thinking about them? What do you repeat? If you really dug down and asked yourself why you do these things, is there an answer? Will you continue to do these things, now that you have thought about them? Are you wasting time?

On a sort of unrelated notes (except that its talking about church), I went to church yesterday. I went to a new church called Sojourn, here in Charlotte. It is actually being held in the movie theatre where my current church used to meet. So, I went to check it out. It was very similar to the church I go to (Mosaic), just less polished, and newer. their premise was that this was a church for imperfect people. I liked the concept, but I really feel like any genuine church should have this in their core design anyway (and many in the area do). So, then I wonder, why don't they find a church that already does this and use their energy and ability to move further....instead of starting from scratch and competing.

I didn't like it as much as mosaic, so part way through, i left and went to mosaic. So, yes, i went to two churches in one day. I can remember a time when I didn't want to go to one church... ever! And now, I am going to two churches in one day! Next thing you know, i will be selling all i own, giving the money to the poor, and start wandering away asking others how i can help them. That'll be the day...

What is hanging from your rearview?

Do you have anything hanging from your rear view mirror? It is sort of trendy and kind of neat to decorate your car with something that is personal. As for me, I used to have two things hanging from my rear view. The first was a blue ring. It was given to me by a unit leader of AmeriCorps NCCC. There was a small paper that came with it, that said what it signified. Since I was in the blue unit, the ring was blue. Simple. The ring however, with its continuous shape, represented more. It represented the interconnectedness of us all. It means that no matter how much you think you can focus on yourself and the rest of the world will fall into place, this simply is not true. It further went on to represent my inability to separate myself from a life of service. Partly this is true because as a Christian, Christ has called me to a life of service. Also this is true though, because after spending a year in NCCC and a year as a VISTA, I can no longer claim I do not know about the need. I cannot just lay in my warm bed with a full stomach thinking the rest of the world is doing the same. I cannot day dream about driving a Maserati that I want to own without first thinking about how many hungry kids in Africa that amount of money would feed.



The 2nd thing I used to have on my rear view was a circular, mini-coin type thing with a dove cutout in the middle. It was given to me at Habitat. I don't remember the paper for it either, but it was something to the effect that the dove represented Christ, and I was to always remember the love that Christ showed for me.



I put both of these on a piece of hemp and hung them from my rear view. This was meant to remind me. It sort of did... but it didn't also. It was detached. I looked at it when I got in my car. "Oh yeah, I forgot, I should be living like this." And then I left it there when I got out of my car.



About a month ago (maybe), I started wearing it around my neck. It is no longer detached. It has now become a part of me. I cannot seem to get a nice, cushy engineering job that will let me buy that Maserati. I do see many, many opportunities to live out the principles embodied by these two pieces of insignificant metal. And I think about them, whether or not I am in my car.



What is hanging from your rear view mirror? What is hanging around your neck?