What do you call a creature with 8 metal nipples and more than holes in its left inner elbow? My friends call me Dalen.
This morning we woke up at the bright hour of 6:30. I am not quite sure why the woke us up so early. We weren't allowed to eat breakfast. We pretty much just relocated to the special room where they take blood and vital signs and EKG data, and then we all went back to sleep. That dang room is crazy cold too. Around 7:30 they started the tests.
At exactly 8:35, Patient # 208 received experimental medication. It may have been placebo or it may have been super memory drug. I probably will never know.
There still seems to be drama over I don't know what. The nurses whisper in hushed tones here and there.
Everyone is still confused when they do my heart rate, although now it seems the machines have begun to register it.
The guy next to me (Patient # 209) ate breakfast before he was dosed. His schedule said to do that and he was supplied food and told to eat it. Then, he found out he wasn't supposed to eat before being dosed (the rest of us had to wait 2 hours after dosing....breakfast at 10 am when you wake up at 6:30 is really not an enjoyable experience). So, they brought in an alternate and sent him home (meaning they put him outside....his ride is part of the trial, and thus has to stay). We then began continuously joking about being kicked out of the trial for making even the slightest mistake (I would compare these people to Nazi's, but that humor is a little too close to home so to speak).
Lurch was good. Baked Ziti and Chicken. Waiting now for dinner and more blood to be drawn.
Likes: access to pool table, ping pong table, flat screen TVs, heat from from the laptop
Dislikes: peeing in a jug for diagnostic purposes, needle sticks every hour, frigid climate control with no sweatshirt
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Day 1- ending
It is definately a mixture of low security prison, mental hospital, and self-admitted rehab (Authors Note: I havent experienced any of these in person, but from what I have seen in the movies, which i believe to be true, it is very similar here). I spent a lare portion of time (i.e. more than 20 minutes) looking out a window today. I spent much of the other time reading, eating, and sleeping. Its life as simple as AmeriCorps, but it pays more, but it is less fulfilling and we arent allowed to exercise.
Apparently, my EKG stickers were not in the correct places, so they had to tear some of them from my chest (they are crazy sticky!) and I believe they took with them some skin, some chest hair, and maybe even a little bit of my soul. It hurt. Then they reapplied them, hopefully correctly now.
I havent taken any medication yet. We get dosed tomorrow apparently. They have been feeding us pretty well, but in single sittings. Tomorrow, our meals will be exactly spaced. We dont get to snack or eat meals between meals, so i take longer and make sure to eat all the food given to me. Without exercise though, it just makes me lethargic. We'll see how much longer I have an appettite without exercise. Maybe I will do some pushups when nobody is looking.
There seems to be quite the social drama group working here. Since I have a tendancy to sit in the corner and read, I am able to be a fly on the wall and listen as the women gossip and talk about who isnt doing what because they have no clue how to do their job, and if they are not carefull the good Dr. will let them go. Apparently, the boss around here is quite the stickler for doiug things by procedure. this makes sense to me though, since we are getting huge checks given to each of us to test a drug with tons of market opportunity. I can imagine that whoever hired this facility out to run this test has quite the bankroll.
Lights out at 11 pm....which means we actually are forced to go to sleep. A guy sitting next to me remarked how camp-like this place is. Dosing for me is at 8:35 am, so off to lay in bed.
Patient WDR #208
Apparently, my EKG stickers were not in the correct places, so they had to tear some of them from my chest (they are crazy sticky!) and I believe they took with them some skin, some chest hair, and maybe even a little bit of my soul. It hurt. Then they reapplied them, hopefully correctly now.
I havent taken any medication yet. We get dosed tomorrow apparently. They have been feeding us pretty well, but in single sittings. Tomorrow, our meals will be exactly spaced. We dont get to snack or eat meals between meals, so i take longer and make sure to eat all the food given to me. Without exercise though, it just makes me lethargic. We'll see how much longer I have an appettite without exercise. Maybe I will do some pushups when nobody is looking.
There seems to be quite the social drama group working here. Since I have a tendancy to sit in the corner and read, I am able to be a fly on the wall and listen as the women gossip and talk about who isnt doing what because they have no clue how to do their job, and if they are not carefull the good Dr. will let them go. Apparently, the boss around here is quite the stickler for doiug things by procedure. this makes sense to me though, since we are getting huge checks given to each of us to test a drug with tons of market opportunity. I can imagine that whoever hired this facility out to run this test has quite the bankroll.
Lights out at 11 pm....which means we actually are forced to go to sleep. A guy sitting next to me remarked how camp-like this place is. Dosing for me is at 8:35 am, so off to lay in bed.
Patient WDR #208
CommentResponses
Response to comments:
Eric:
I agree wholeheartedly with your logic. The environment is always going to be a "rich people's" problem...that is until the poor people realize that they are the ones who will suffer the most from envrionmental degradation.Even then though, the rich are the only ones with the resources to undo the damage. I think its a sort of catch-22problem.
Steve:
GOLF courses Steve, not GOLD courses. You know, that makes me wonder...if the golf balls were made of gold, would peoplestill leave them in the streams?
Also, Rupert Murdock wants to buy my blog and soul...i can only assume its because of the Bartunek Bump.
Molly:
Stream cleanup along the trailer park would be small beans. The water flow is so low there. It would be much better to do it further down, where garbage collects. And the scale of a cleanup would be gargantuan...i am trying to get an NCCC team to work on something like this.
Eric:
I agree wholeheartedly with your logic. The environment is always going to be a "rich people's" problem...that is until the poor people realize that they are the ones who will suffer the most from envrionmental degradation.Even then though, the rich are the only ones with the resources to undo the damage. I think its a sort of catch-22problem.
Steve:
GOLF courses Steve, not GOLD courses. You know, that makes me wonder...if the golf balls were made of gold, would peoplestill leave them in the streams?
Also, Rupert Murdock wants to buy my blog and soul...i can only assume its because of the Bartunek Bump.
Molly:
Stream cleanup along the trailer park would be small beans. The water flow is so low there. It would be much better to do it further down, where garbage collects. And the scale of a cleanup would be gargantuan...i am trying to get an NCCC team to work on something like this.
Day 1- Locked up for 3 days
They made it clear that once we entered the facility, there was no going back. Anything we left in our lockers would be out of our reaches for 3 days. I kind of feel like a scientist going into the biosphere.
In case I haven't told you, I found a medical study to participate in. The money is really good and the study is for an Alzheimer's medication. The ad was on the back of a Creative Loafing, right near the add for "Smoke Pot, Get Paid." I am hoping that since the medicine is for Alzheimer's, and my memory is fine, i will end up with a super-memory.
I came in this morning at 9 am, having fasted since 10 pm (yes, i had to skip what would normally be 2nd dinner). Then, we had to get all our tests done, so it wasn't until 11am that i was able to eat breakfast. Exactly two eggs, two pieces of bacon, strawberries with whip cream, and a glass of OJ later, I felt better. As I write this, I smile at the EKG sticky patches that spot my wrists, ankles, and chest. I feel like I could be hooked to the Matrix. We are supposed to leave them on the entire time we are here. I also have an ID bracelet (in case i escape and get picked up) and a bracelet with a combination on it, to my locker, in case they find my body and want to get into the combination lock that was issued to me.
The EKG thought my heart rate was sub-50 BPM, which is crazy low. The nurse asked me if I was a triathlete, but i heard her ask if I was a superhero. So, I said, "not yet."
Lunch has arrived from the outside world. I sort of feel like I am in prison, but a really nice prison. We all are wearing the same maroon scrubs and we are sleeping in a large room. Its like adult penitentiary camp....but we get paid!
More later. Tell all your friends.
In case I haven't told you, I found a medical study to participate in. The money is really good and the study is for an Alzheimer's medication. The ad was on the back of a Creative Loafing, right near the add for "Smoke Pot, Get Paid." I am hoping that since the medicine is for Alzheimer's, and my memory is fine, i will end up with a super-memory.
I came in this morning at 9 am, having fasted since 10 pm (yes, i had to skip what would normally be 2nd dinner). Then, we had to get all our tests done, so it wasn't until 11am that i was able to eat breakfast. Exactly two eggs, two pieces of bacon, strawberries with whip cream, and a glass of OJ later, I felt better. As I write this, I smile at the EKG sticky patches that spot my wrists, ankles, and chest. I feel like I could be hooked to the Matrix. We are supposed to leave them on the entire time we are here. I also have an ID bracelet (in case i escape and get picked up) and a bracelet with a combination on it, to my locker, in case they find my body and want to get into the combination lock that was issued to me.
The EKG thought my heart rate was sub-50 BPM, which is crazy low. The nurse asked me if I was a triathlete, but i heard her ask if I was a superhero. So, I said, "not yet."
Lunch has arrived from the outside world. I sort of feel like I am in prison, but a really nice prison. We all are wearing the same maroon scrubs and we are sleeping in a large room. Its like adult penitentiary camp....but we get paid!
More later. Tell all your friends.
Sunday, July 05, 2009
Living Rocks, trailor parks, and damn golf balls
Thanks to Eric and Reagan for the comments.
I once knew a guy named Steve Barta..Barte...Bar-tune-ack. He was a heck of a guy that Steve. Top 3 of all the Steve's I know, easy.
So, last week, I was walking in Rocky River. I went to a place where I know there is a dam and proceeded to look at the dirt upstream and downstream of the dam. Eventually, I will compare the streams and locations where dams existed to the streams and locations where dams didn't exist.
One thing I have noticed in both kinds of streams is that wherever there is a large power line crossing the stream, all the trees have been removed. Since much of the streams are under forest canopy, it is like coming out of a shaded tunnel and then going back into one. Often, near power lines, a bunch of rocks have been put on the banks to keep erosion from happening. then, those rocks fall into the creek and then moss and slime grow on them, making it very treacherous to walk under the power lines where the sun reaches the stream.
I was coming up to one of these open expanses a couple week back when I noticed a rock sticking up out of the creek. It wasn't so bizarre (i do see occasional rocks), but it was odd since it was all alone and in the middle. Generally, there will be some geologic formation and a bunch of rocks will be present. This time there was just one. It seemed very smooth also. My vision is getting bad, so I dismissed the fact that it also appears to be suspended just above the water by two sticks. As I got closer I looked harder and still saw a smooth, gray rock, suspended above the water by about 2 inches by two sticks. Finally, I got within 10 yards and realized I was staring at a giant crane, sitting in the middle of the stream, with no head. I could make out the feathers on its back and the two sticks were actually legs. Still, no head though. It was ultra creepy. I gave it plenty of space in case "the crane from sleepy hollow" decided to move towards me. then, its head appeared, unburied from its body, where it had been resting while the crane was sleeping. It looked over at me, with very menacing eyes and a long, spear-like nose. I find it peculiar that many birds (Owls, Hawks, Cranes) look really cool from far off, but then when you get close you realize that they are very efficient killing machines and they no doubt would enjoy eating my eyes. I gave the crane more space and walked past it. It eyes me and then went back to sleep.
So, I assumed it was sick. I walked downstream awhile, came to a bend in the stream that was more than 6' deep, and turned around. As I re-approached the grim reaper-esque bird, it awoke, put its mouth in the water, ate a fish, and then went back to sleep, clearly not afraid of me. It was bizarre and I have no doubt that I will never get this close to a bird of such size again.
I grew up near a trailer park and had many friends that lived there. So, I don't like to think that people in trailers are any more abnormal than the next people. There are lots of stereotypes and general negative feelings about trailer park peoples. Unfortunately, I think I now have a small bit more loathing for them, having walked the section of Toby Creek adjacent to a trailer park. there was much garbage. there were many bicycles. there were many kids toys made of plastic. There were occasional TVs, washer machines, and parts of building...all in the stream. If I could have my way, I would make it law that trailer parks have to be at least a quarter mile away from streams.
....and gold courses too dammit. I have found golf balls the entire length of mallard creek. They come from the golf course i live on and I am wondering if they cant be held liable for the pollution. I hate to see golf balls in the creek. Its just one more blatant sign that we as a large group of people don't care about the natural world around us. We would rather do some hobby that leads to pollution than to find another hobby or even another way to do said hobby without causing pollution.
Our streams will never be clean again until we decide we value them more than the parking lots (and their run-off) that destroy them.
I once knew a guy named Steve Barta..Barte...Bar-tune-ack. He was a heck of a guy that Steve. Top 3 of all the Steve's I know, easy.
So, last week, I was walking in Rocky River. I went to a place where I know there is a dam and proceeded to look at the dirt upstream and downstream of the dam. Eventually, I will compare the streams and locations where dams existed to the streams and locations where dams didn't exist.
One thing I have noticed in both kinds of streams is that wherever there is a large power line crossing the stream, all the trees have been removed. Since much of the streams are under forest canopy, it is like coming out of a shaded tunnel and then going back into one. Often, near power lines, a bunch of rocks have been put on the banks to keep erosion from happening. then, those rocks fall into the creek and then moss and slime grow on them, making it very treacherous to walk under the power lines where the sun reaches the stream.
I was coming up to one of these open expanses a couple week back when I noticed a rock sticking up out of the creek. It wasn't so bizarre (i do see occasional rocks), but it was odd since it was all alone and in the middle. Generally, there will be some geologic formation and a bunch of rocks will be present. This time there was just one. It seemed very smooth also. My vision is getting bad, so I dismissed the fact that it also appears to be suspended just above the water by two sticks. As I got closer I looked harder and still saw a smooth, gray rock, suspended above the water by about 2 inches by two sticks. Finally, I got within 10 yards and realized I was staring at a giant crane, sitting in the middle of the stream, with no head. I could make out the feathers on its back and the two sticks were actually legs. Still, no head though. It was ultra creepy. I gave it plenty of space in case "the crane from sleepy hollow" decided to move towards me. then, its head appeared, unburied from its body, where it had been resting while the crane was sleeping. It looked over at me, with very menacing eyes and a long, spear-like nose. I find it peculiar that many birds (Owls, Hawks, Cranes) look really cool from far off, but then when you get close you realize that they are very efficient killing machines and they no doubt would enjoy eating my eyes. I gave the crane more space and walked past it. It eyes me and then went back to sleep.
So, I assumed it was sick. I walked downstream awhile, came to a bend in the stream that was more than 6' deep, and turned around. As I re-approached the grim reaper-esque bird, it awoke, put its mouth in the water, ate a fish, and then went back to sleep, clearly not afraid of me. It was bizarre and I have no doubt that I will never get this close to a bird of such size again.
I grew up near a trailer park and had many friends that lived there. So, I don't like to think that people in trailers are any more abnormal than the next people. There are lots of stereotypes and general negative feelings about trailer park peoples. Unfortunately, I think I now have a small bit more loathing for them, having walked the section of Toby Creek adjacent to a trailer park. there was much garbage. there were many bicycles. there were many kids toys made of plastic. There were occasional TVs, washer machines, and parts of building...all in the stream. If I could have my way, I would make it law that trailer parks have to be at least a quarter mile away from streams.
....and gold courses too dammit. I have found golf balls the entire length of mallard creek. They come from the golf course i live on and I am wondering if they cant be held liable for the pollution. I hate to see golf balls in the creek. Its just one more blatant sign that we as a large group of people don't care about the natural world around us. We would rather do some hobby that leads to pollution than to find another hobby or even another way to do said hobby without causing pollution.
Our streams will never be clean again until we decide we value them more than the parking lots (and their run-off) that destroy them.
More tales from the streams
Save the forest?
Last week I was walking in Mallard Creek, which seems to go forever. At one particular place, I came to a part of the creek that has canyon like walls of 30' or more in height. For the most part, the banks of Mallard Creek are usually less than 15', so this was yet another twilight zone like moment (its peculiar how lots of instances become infinitely more creepy when youre alone in a creek bed or walking under a major road or interstate via long dark tunnel...I am very surprised, and happy, to not have found any bodies yet). The waterflow became a trickle as it came down over large rocks (i always walk UPstream), so I began to rock hop up the stream with my shovel and ultra-dexterity-suppressing waders. I saw a couple kids on the bank hanging out, but I didnt stop to talk or really take notice. I figured that I looked quite odd and didnt want to explain what I was doing anyway (although, I have a simplified thesis explanation of "walking in streams and looking at dirt in cutbanks" that only requires me to define one term). Eventually, I noticed, the kids seemed to be following me upstream. I couldnt tell if they were just walking upstream or trying to catch me. Anyway, with waders, I neednt worry about being in the water or out, so I was able to move faster than them. Eventually though, they got within earshot when I was looking at an exposure and they asked me what I was up to. More specifically, they asked me if I was with the forest service and if I was trying to "save the forest." they asked if I had a petition. They then were disappointed to find out I was just a grad student...especially since, as they told me, they would totally sign a petition if I had one. I guess the shovel/waders/clipboard really does give me instant credibility amongst hippie kids playing in streams. Wait a second...that used to be me. Crap. I have grown into a hippie kid, studying to work in streams. I told them to make sure they washed their feet when they got home (they were barefoot) because the water no doubt contained all kinds of bad stuff. They didnt like this last piece of adult-ish advice as they left me and they didnt respond.
Stay tuned for my next story about a rock that comes to life!
DAlen
Last week I was walking in Mallard Creek, which seems to go forever. At one particular place, I came to a part of the creek that has canyon like walls of 30' or more in height. For the most part, the banks of Mallard Creek are usually less than 15', so this was yet another twilight zone like moment (its peculiar how lots of instances become infinitely more creepy when youre alone in a creek bed or walking under a major road or interstate via long dark tunnel...I am very surprised, and happy, to not have found any bodies yet). The waterflow became a trickle as it came down over large rocks (i always walk UPstream), so I began to rock hop up the stream with my shovel and ultra-dexterity-suppressing waders. I saw a couple kids on the bank hanging out, but I didnt stop to talk or really take notice. I figured that I looked quite odd and didnt want to explain what I was doing anyway (although, I have a simplified thesis explanation of "walking in streams and looking at dirt in cutbanks" that only requires me to define one term). Eventually, I noticed, the kids seemed to be following me upstream. I couldnt tell if they were just walking upstream or trying to catch me. Anyway, with waders, I neednt worry about being in the water or out, so I was able to move faster than them. Eventually though, they got within earshot when I was looking at an exposure and they asked me what I was up to. More specifically, they asked me if I was with the forest service and if I was trying to "save the forest." they asked if I had a petition. They then were disappointed to find out I was just a grad student...especially since, as they told me, they would totally sign a petition if I had one. I guess the shovel/waders/clipboard really does give me instant credibility amongst hippie kids playing in streams. Wait a second...that used to be me. Crap. I have grown into a hippie kid, studying to work in streams. I told them to make sure they washed their feet when they got home (they were barefoot) because the water no doubt contained all kinds of bad stuff. They didnt like this last piece of adult-ish advice as they left me and they didnt respond.
Stay tuned for my next story about a rock that comes to life!
DAlen
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